"Up To You"

When I am in Thailand I try having a "Thai" massage two or three times weekly. There are many different types of massages. A "Thai" massage is akin todeep pressure therapeutic massages in the western world. It involves a form of acupressure application combined with stretching. Here in the Land of Smiles it is commonly called "nuad phaen (thai)" and refers to the traditional - almost ancient - method of massage. One remains fully clothed - no "Happy Endings" here! Normally it lasts for about two hours, and for a "potpooey farange" like me it sometimes hurts like hell. Because my regular masseuse understands my weakness as well as the areas of ache in my body that require the most work, she is able to practice her profession with what the Thais call "loving kindness". It hurts, but not too much.

My first masseuse  when I came to Thailand was about five and a half feet tall and built like a fireplug. She, like most Thais, was of indeterminate age, but I guess her to be in her sixties. Her arms and fingers were made of steel. I came upon her by accident but quickly realized that she made my ribs (I had broken 11 in an accident a couple years earlier) feel better in one hour than 6 months of physio-therapy back home. She has not been at her usual shop since last winter and now i frequent one of the shops on the infamous Soi 6 in Jomtien Beach and rely on a masseuse, who is also my roommate while in Thailand. She is 39 and supports a son in college and a daughter on her way to college back in her home in northern Thailand. Over very little time she learned the limits of my pain threshold (a mere threat is enough to have me reveal all my country's secrets! LOL) and now she can expertly explore the nooks and crannies among my muscles without sending me through the roof. Also, my massages last only about an hour, since that is about all I can handle. She charges me 200 baht - about six bucks. In a society where tipping used to be unknown, and is totally non-traditional, I tip her fifty percent. Back home the same treatment would cost me ten to fifteen times what I pay here. 

Another type of massage is the "Oil" massage. For those the clothes, or most of them, come off. These massages, which cost 300 baht/hour, obviously involve less friction than a Thai massage. This attention - along with some judicious "accidental" tickling by the masseuse of an area perhaps a bit more sensitive than others - frequently induces a recipient to part with another 500 baht or so, thereby attaining an "ending of an ear-to-ear grin". So-called "Soapy" massages are simply massages a bit more high-end than those of Oil. That I afford myself only at the odd Christmas.

There are Foot massages,Scalp massages, and even Fish massages, where one dunks one's feet, legs, or even whole self into a tank of water populated by a few hundred toothless Garra Rufa fish the size of one's pinky. Their diet is dead skin, and in twenty minutes of feeding they leave behind a skin surface as smooth as the proverbial baby's bum. The initial tickling one feels is a short-lived sensory overload that almost invariably causes a burst of laughter followed by a minute of solid giggling until the body adjusts to the new sensation.

There are many variables in your masseuses and options in your delivery, available in the shops all depending on the customers interests and wallet. As the Thais say when asked about the best choices...”up to you”.

Ill be in touch.